


i'm coming back for you

by toflowerknights



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, also this isn't really clarke/octavia it's more octavia remembering clarke, don't hate me for it i just couldn't keep writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 10:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2426132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toflowerknights/pseuds/toflowerknights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It seemed like a lifetime ago. But Octavia remembered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm coming back for you

Octavia knew she shouldn't look back. Looking back all too often brought up too many painful memories, or worse, good ones. She had to focus on what was in front of her instead of things that would only pull her back. Lincoln was steading her as she walked on shaky legs through the woods. He leg was healing. Slowly, but it was healing. It had taken them half a day to get back to Lincoln's cave where he had treated her wounded leg before he told them they needed to leave.

They had been moving for about two weeks, more or less. It was a slow process seeing as Octavia needed to rest her leg more often than not. Lincoln had offered to carry her on more than on occasion, but pride kept Octavia firmly on the ground.

Octavia twisted her ankle as she tripped over a rock and grabbed the closest branch she could find. Pain shot through her leg and she twisted her face into a pained grimace.

"I'm sorry," she panted. "I have to rest, just for a little bit."

Lincoln pressed his lips together, but nodded, and Octavia gratefully sat down on the closest tree trunk she could find. She was handed a canteen of water and almost groaned in pleasure as the coolness of the water chilled her from the inside out. She didn't realise she had been that thirsty.

She looked out over the forest and felt sad when she realised that she had forgotten how beautiful it really was. All the time spent in total darkness should really have made her more open to the endlessness of the earth's beauty, but somewhere along the line survival had taken that place in her heart. Survival had always been the stronger contestant, she supposed.

There was this nagging feeling in the back of her head, telling her that she needed to go back. That she was making a mistake going with Lincoln. That her friends needed her and that her brother was worried sick. She had voiced those opinions to Lincoln, who had simply waved them off, telling her that they needed to keep moving, that whomever survived would come after them. Octavia knew that Lincoln was scared of what his people would do to him, to them. But the more stubborn part of her wanted to stay. Wanted to go back and help her friends.

 

As she took another sip she thought back on the first day on earth, how excited they all had been. How excited she had been. Finally, she had been able to go wherever she wanted, do whatever she wanted and just... live. 

That one first day played out like a dream, all blurry in the corners and sugarcoated in bright lights. She had finally found people who actually wanted to talk to her and who liked her, and she had clung to them like a lifeline. Her knuckles turned pale as she clenched her fists together. She hadn't seen Monty or Jasper in ages. Monty, who probably was dead, in what seemed to be a best case scenario. And Jasper, sweet Jasper, who had grown so fierce and Finn who always seemed to be on her side.

And Clarke. She wondered if Clarke was still alive, still fighting. If she and her brother was fighting whatever battle they without a doubt were facing now and if they were trying to encourage the others to help them.

Her mind went back to that first day again. She didn't want to focus on the bad, she wanted the good. She wanted to remember how it felt to walk through the woods, with no guards telling them to hurry it up or to obey their orders. They had been completely free.

She tried to imagine how the water felt around her body as she jumped into the river for the first time. How relaxing it had been to feel the sand slip through her toes and the chocked looks on everyone's faces that made her feel invincible. Clarke's face stood out in the crowd. It was the first time she had seen the other girl smile, and it made her feel extremely satisfied that she had been the one to do it.

It had almost made her want to push more, to make Clarke smile wider, to make her laugh and blush. Octavia had never allowed herself to dive too deep into those thoughts. But some nights when she had seen Clarke walk across camp she had been overcome with this deep desire to be close to her. She imagined them laying next to each other, breathing in each others air and Octavia would lean forward and place a kiss on Clarke's lips. The rest of those memories was a blur of bodies and skin and feelings Octavia would rather not delve into.

Instead she thought about all the hours they spent together making sure that Jasper didn't die. Octavia had been a mess, all shaking hands and hysteric words, but a few words from Clarke made her relax. She remembered that when Clarke spoke, she forgot to be afraid. No matter how upset or angry she got, Clarke was the voice of reason that kept her calm. And Clarke did what needed to be done.

That made her focus on what she had to do.

"I'm ready," she told Lincoln who nodded in satisfaction. He helped her up and she grimaced slightly in pain. She started walking but was quickly stopped by Lincoln.

"You're going the wrong way," he said roughly, but Octavia shook her head.

"I'm going back for my friends," she replied. "I don't care what you think." She could almost see Clarke standing in front of her with a proud look on her face and that made the pain in her leg seem less bad. If her friends was in trouble she would help them. Clarke had saved her life more than once, it was time to return the favour.

It seemed like a lifetime ago. But Octavia remembered.


End file.
